It's no use worrying about Time

: theamazinglaura; July 3rd, 22:19

"Laughter's the taste of my surviving."-Only Revolutions

: theamazinglaura; July 2nd, 0:42

I am overly sentimental.

"This smoking gun of a mouth of mine has many victims to its name"-NFG

: theamazinglaura; June 30th, 20:09

It's always said that the path to hell is paved with good intentions.

It's true.

I go into everything I do with good intentions. Absolutely everything.

Sometimes situations shouldn't be mediated. Sometimes things need to just unravel on their own. Things work out the way they need to in the end, whether the ending leaves everyone happy or not. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes it's the best thing you can do in a situation, no matter how good your intentions are.

Not every situation needs your help.

When I do something wrong, I stand up and admit it. Partly because I feel really bad about it, and partly because it's the right thing to do. I've learned in life that if you just admit what you did wrong to the person you did it to, most of the time that's half the battle. The rest will take care of itself.

(no subject)

: theamazinglaura; June 29th, 19:19

I need a job. But I want a job that helps make the world better in some way, shape or form (oh my god that was so cheesy, sorry). But seriously. I don't want to sit in an office and push papers all day. If I wanted that job, I'd call up my brother right now and get it. Because I could. But that's not where my interest is. I don't want to do something meaningless. After graduation my dad told me he expects me to change the world, so damn it, that's what I'm going to try to do.

(no subject)

: theamazinglaura; June 29th, 15:21

Camping was so much fun. There's something really cool about waking up in a tent with your best friends, going out and seeing all your other friends come out of their tents. It was awesome. Let's do it again.

I'm moving back to Jacksonville this summer. It can't come soon enough. Now I need to get a job. Boston's probably not happening. It's cool though, I guess.

"I make plans to break plans, and I've been planning something big"-TAI

: theamazinglaura; June 26th, 23:18

I hate having corkscrews thrown into my plan. It sucks. It leaves everyone scrambling to figure out a solution. But it is not time to switch into panic mode. Yet. But that time might be coming. Maybe if things don't work out, it's my cue from the Universe (or whoever the hell is in charge here) to pack up my shit and move to Boston. Because I've been rethinking grad school anyway. It's going to put me in a mountain of debt, and I want to live as debt-free as possible (now, I'm aware that student loans aren't bad debt-- they have a low interest rate, and hey, you get something good out of it, but whatever). Here's another issue I've been trying to work out in my brain. I'd be going to UNF because it's the most convenient, not because it's actually where I would chose to go if I could go anywhere. I want to go back to school because I want to go, not because it's convenient (even though it is extremely convenient, especially at this point in time and in this economy). So I've been seriously considering giving up the ghost and moving. Why put it off? Ari always said that action is always better than inaction, and my own personal mantra over the past few years has been "don't talk about it, be about it." So if things don't work out the way we were thinking, then maybe I'll say "fuck it" and move. Maybe that's what I should have been doing this whole time. But it's so hard to pick up and go without having someone to go with you. Or at least it is for me. I'm shy and bad at directions (that was for you, Ellie). But I know a lot of people up there, a lot of people who would take me in, at least for a little while (and the Foleys fucking love me...I don't even think they'd mind all that much if I asked to move in).

I just have to wait and see how things shake out. Then I'll be able to get a clearer picture. But maybe this is a sign from God/Allah/Buddha/Krishna/whoever.

Things I do not appreciate

: theamazinglaura; June 25th, 21:28

Fighting with my parents
Michael Jackson dying
Farrah Fawcett dying

That being said, I had the best birthday ever. Seriously. Usually my birthday gets screwed because it's in the summer and everyone's busy or gone or whatnot. But I managed to assemble most of the troops. Let me count them. Molly, Kylie, Jason, Ashlee, Jess, Josh, Ellie, Caitlyn, Aaron, Alex, Omar (and Omar's boyfriend, and some friends). I think that's it. That's a lot of people. It was absolutely amazing, and I love everyone so much.

(no subject)

: theamazinglaura; June 22nd, 22:57

Spending two nights in St. Augustine for my birthday with Molly, Ellie and Caitlyn, with appearances by Jess, Aaron, Ashlee and maybe Omar, Joey and Alex. This means only one thing. Drunkenness will ensue.

So we all are growing old, and it's getting old

: theamazinglaura; June 22nd, 0:43

So, on Wednesday I turn 22. It seems like such a ridiculous number. I know I'm not old. I don't feel old (unless I somehow end up in a room full of high schoolers...then I feel old). But somehow, I don't feel like I should be 22. I don't know. Weird to explain.

(no subject)

: theamazinglaura; June 19th, 21:18

I am bored. All three of my friends in DeLand are occupied. I literally have nothing to do. Thinking about just taking a drive.

As Ani DiFranco says, "I've got myself a new mantra, it says don't forget to have a good time."

: theamazinglaura; June 18th, 22:40

I'm feeling good about life in general. Why? I'm not too sure, but I am. I have plans for my birthday. I'm moving back to Jacksonville soon. There's a very good chance of a Boston trip in the near future. Life's looking up. I'm reading "Hardcore Zen" by Brad Warner, and it's awesome. It talks a lot about being happy right where you are, about how our ideas of perfection are bullshit because we can never reach it because we, as humans, always think things should be different, that there's something better out there somewhere, etc etc. You're guilty of that. I'm guilty of that. We're all guilty of that. But this moment is perfection. Of course I want to move to Boston, I love the shit out of that town. But moving there tomorrow wouldn't make me instantly, perfectly happy, because I have this idealized version of it in my head, and of course no place is perfect. It's like having your "dream job." At the end of the day, no matter how cool it is, it's still a fucking job. Of course I want to live in Boston some day. I don't want to be in Jacksonville my whole life. But while I'm there (and in DeLand, for that matter) why not enjoy it? Because, really, this very moment is all I've got, and it's pointless and a waste of a life to not be happy in it. I've got great friends who I love the shit out of and who (I hope) love the shit out of me, my family is awesome. Life is fucking beautiful.

drunk (can i type this without any typos? let's see)

: theamazinglaura; June 17th, 0:16

Tonight consisted of:

Talking to Kylie's mom while she got drunk
Burning my mouth on fried okra from Trader Jacks (but it was delicious so who cares)
Going to a bar called Sharks (the sign advertised Go-Go dancers) and getting $1 drafts
Playing pool, Kylie and Jason vs. me and this black guy named JT
Winning said pool game
Watching an awful/old stripper in a Target bathing suit (she was so bad, it was awesome)
Playing 15 songs on the jukebox in a row
Daring Kylie to ask every member of the Stripper's Fan Club their favorite color (too bad no one thought of daring her to ask the stripper her favorite color)
Having JT totally try to get in my pants
Having some random dude buy us all Jello shots
Drunk dialing Ellie and talking nonsense to her for like half an hour (sorry! love you!)

(no subject)

: theamazinglaura; June 16th, 18:35

Sometimes I wish that people would go out of their way for me as much as I feel I go out of my way for them.

I forgot how much I love this song

: theamazinglaura; June 14th, 20:23

"This life is good
The road is clear
It's time to shift in to high gear
Everything we're passing fades
It's what's inside our hearts that stays"
"It's Alright" by MxPx

(no subject)

: theamazinglaura; June 13th, 19:54

I'm reading "Only Revolutions" by Mark Z. Danielewski, and it's by the far craziest thing I've ever read. It's a little weird to explain. It's told from two different points of view, Hailey and Sam, who are both eternally sixteen, and...well, you really have to see the book to understand it. It's poetry-esque and stream-of-consciousness, so it's really nearly impossible to get a grasp on what, exactly, is going on (if anything), but for some reason, I find this book amazing. I think it's something I'll for sure have to read more than once, just to get a slight handle on it.

Note to self:

: theamazinglaura; June 12th, 22:58

"You can't live in paradise-- but you are living right here. Make this your paradise or make this your hell. The choice is entirely yours. Really." Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner

(no subject)

: theamazinglaura; June 11th, 20:07

"First you go under
And then coming up gives you the bends
And when you break the surface
All you can see is your friends
So you grab your purple crayon
And flesh out the picture behind
And finally the whole world
Is made up of one unbroken line
One unbroken line"
"Red Letter Year"- Ani DiFranco